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Flashes
DATE: Thursday, July 30, 2009 | TIME: 7/30/2009 10:27:00 AM
The people passing by provide a temporary satisfaction.
For i know i can never obtain.
Ok, yesterday's performance was....pathetic, lifeless, disgusting. Even though the seniors say we weren't that bad, i think we were that bad. Mistakes here and there. Failure in communication here and there. Haiz.. Let's not go there.
What i'm thinking about? My hands are numb. Djembe playing, by a beginner, results in internal bleeding as Sanjay puts it and numbing as Faizal puts it. Learn from the masters i shall and it should be better.
I'm hungry now. CATS mates have yet to arrive at rendezvous. Slaughter.
For i know i can never obtain.
Ok, yesterday's performance was....pathetic, lifeless, disgusting. Even though the seniors say we weren't that bad, i think we were that bad. Mistakes here and there. Failure in communication here and there. Haiz.. Let's not go there.
What i'm thinking about? My hands are numb. Djembe playing, by a beginner, results in internal bleeding as Sanjay puts it and numbing as Faizal puts it. Learn from the masters i shall and it should be better.
I'm hungry now. CATS mates have yet to arrive at rendezvous. Slaughter.
HD eyes
DATE: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 | TIME: 7/29/2009 06:19:00 AM
We are but puppets.
Just a quick post before i head off to school. For the first time, the guppies of Baracuda Batucada will be performing later on at 2.45 pm. I'm nervous right now coz if we screw up, we've got to answer for it. Hey, i said no pressure. Not that it's gonna be easy. Well, the bright side is that i can skip class. Hey, it's a valid excuse okay.
Till then.
Just a quick post before i head off to school. For the first time, the guppies of Baracuda Batucada will be performing later on at 2.45 pm. I'm nervous right now coz if we screw up, we've got to answer for it. Hey, i said no pressure. Not that it's gonna be easy. Well, the bright side is that i can skip class. Hey, it's a valid excuse okay.
Till then.
It's funny
DATE: Monday, July 27, 2009 | TIME: 7/27/2009 01:12:00 AM
I heard a joke once.
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laughs. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
End of a week.
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laughs. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
End of a week.
Look at the time
DATE: Sunday, July 26, 2009 | TIME: 7/26/2009 03:57:00 AM
It's almost 4 in the morning.
And me and Ezan are at McDonalds, slacking. Well, we did study for a while until the math question was freaking difficult. Watched the first part of coming soon before the internet went hay-wire. It feels weird using his laptop to blog. Feels different. And weird. Not doing anything right now. Exan is playing L4D on MY laptop. Bored and my leg's are sore. Ezan has red eyes.
I feel like eating even though i ate that double filet-o-fish. Doesn't feel satisfying enough. But, it was tasty, just not enough. It's also expensive. Maybe i should go to Ezan's for mee soto. Claimed to be very high in quantity. Haha
And me and Ezan are at McDonalds, slacking. Well, we did study for a while until the math question was freaking difficult. Watched the first part of coming soon before the internet went hay-wire. It feels weird using his laptop to blog. Feels different. And weird. Not doing anything right now. Exan is playing L4D on MY laptop. Bored and my leg's are sore. Ezan has red eyes.
I feel like eating even though i ate that double filet-o-fish. Doesn't feel satisfying enough. But, it was tasty, just not enough. It's also expensive. Maybe i should go to Ezan's for mee soto. Claimed to be very high in quantity. Haha
Guranteed
DATE: Thursday, July 23, 2009 | TIME: 7/23/2009 11:38:00 PM
The perverts of the city talking about their pornos.
I'm feeling a sense of satisfaction. No, i didn't win anything. I ate something. Haahaa. Yea, surprising. Past few weeks have been a killer. No, not the assignments. The food in NP sucks!!! Seriously nothing good to eat and what is good, isn't halal. Why?!!!
So i decided that finally, it was time to tantalize my taste buds. Went to Sakura restaurant, not the buffet one, and had dendeng fried kway teow. Mmmmm.....nice. It was spicy, sweet, delicious. Although, $4.50 seems like it's very much worth it. Mmmm....nice food. So one more day to suffer in school with bad food. And i have math test tomorrow which i doubt i'll have an easy time with.
Lastly, i would like to apologize to the dear readers of this blog. As of late, it has been going down the emo-train and yes, i have been talking to myself. I was just mad about something and thank god, i'm finally over it. i would like to thank my dear journal which i scribbled so hard on to relieve that anger. i would like to apologise to the readers once again. Truely, i am feeling much better now. Any inconvenience is regretted.
Now that that's off my chest, let me rest for it is a long day tomorrow.
I'm feeling a sense of satisfaction. No, i didn't win anything. I ate something. Haahaa. Yea, surprising. Past few weeks have been a killer. No, not the assignments. The food in NP sucks!!! Seriously nothing good to eat and what is good, isn't halal. Why?!!!
So i decided that finally, it was time to tantalize my taste buds. Went to Sakura restaurant, not the buffet one, and had dendeng fried kway teow. Mmmmm.....nice. It was spicy, sweet, delicious. Although, $4.50 seems like it's very much worth it. Mmmm....nice food. So one more day to suffer in school with bad food. And i have math test tomorrow which i doubt i'll have an easy time with.
Lastly, i would like to apologize to the dear readers of this blog. As of late, it has been going down the emo-train and yes, i have been talking to myself. I was just mad about something and thank god, i'm finally over it. i would like to thank my dear journal which i scribbled so hard on to relieve that anger. i would like to apologise to the readers once again. Truely, i am feeling much better now. Any inconvenience is regretted.
Now that that's off my chest, let me rest for it is a long day tomorrow.
It never would've made a difference
DATE: Sunday, July 19, 2009 | TIME: 7/19/2009 11:19:00 PM
The cancer stricken world is slowly coming to an end.
Final call to the leaders to agree on peace. But i guess now is not the time. Not yet.
This feeling of a need left unfulfilled. How frustrating. Never seems to stop. Maybe there isn't a need. Never a calling. Never longing. Hmm...insight.
Let's be realistic for a moment and behold the travesty that is my life. Projects still incomplete. Assignments are tutorials on a weekly basis. Still not complete. Time's a wasting. Get to work.
Final call to the leaders to agree on peace. But i guess now is not the time. Not yet.
This feeling of a need left unfulfilled. How frustrating. Never seems to stop. Maybe there isn't a need. Never a calling. Never longing. Hmm...insight.
Let's be realistic for a moment and behold the travesty that is my life. Projects still incomplete. Assignments are tutorials on a weekly basis. Still not complete. Time's a wasting. Get to work.
Conspiracy
DATE: Friday, July 17, 2009 | TIME: 7/17/2009 10:10:00 PM
The aging whores and fat prostitutes.
Desperate homosexuals and disgusting horny bastards. They are nothing but decorations of the street. Just like the old tissue lady and screaming fruit vendor. I am getting tired of this life. Food is expensive, friends are useless and old photographs have imprints of bad memories. Maybe it's time to quit. Maybe my life is finished. I am going nowhere. Nowhere.
Time is ticking. I do not have much left. Assignment this, project that. The very education system is failing to provide to me. Money has been wasted, i have not benefited. It is a scam to to humanity's future. I am tired. The keys are spelling out the end.
Warm nights have been kind to me. I forget the sorrows. Forget the pains of day to day hardships. It is not easy. For whenever i have strength, i am not angry. I am angry, just not you that can see it.
Desperate homosexuals and disgusting horny bastards. They are nothing but decorations of the street. Just like the old tissue lady and screaming fruit vendor. I am getting tired of this life. Food is expensive, friends are useless and old photographs have imprints of bad memories. Maybe it's time to quit. Maybe my life is finished. I am going nowhere. Nowhere.
Time is ticking. I do not have much left. Assignment this, project that. The very education system is failing to provide to me. Money has been wasted, i have not benefited. It is a scam to to humanity's future. I am tired. The keys are spelling out the end.
Warm nights have been kind to me. I forget the sorrows. Forget the pains of day to day hardships. It is not easy. For whenever i have strength, i am not angry. I am angry, just not you that can see it.
trigger
DATE: Thursday, July 16, 2009 | TIME: 7/16/2009 10:01:00 PM
Sometimes i find friends redundant.
Sometimes life is being fair.
Sometimes time is slow.
Sometimes i'm depressed.
Sometimes i'm angry.
Sometimes i wanna punch someone so hard in the face their nose caves in.
Sometimes it's peaceful.
Sometimes people stare at me.
Sometimes i sing to myself.
Sometimes death is peaceful. I see myself dying in a lightning storm.
Sometimes i worry too little.
Sometimes i have a problem. I don't like problems.
Sometimes i'm a hero.
Sometimes i'm a killer.
Sometimes i'm a saint.
Sometimes i'm a hater.
Sometimes i'm imbalanced in the mind.
Sometimes i'm sarcastic.
Sometimes i'm feeling so low i feel like dying.
Sometimes i'm a homo.
Sometimes i'm anti-social.
Sometimes i get sick and recover too quickly.
Sometimes i'm stressed.
Sometimes i'm hard working.
Sometimes i imagine.
Sometimes i find it unnecessary to wake up.
Sometimes i wish for stuff.
Twice i've fallen.
Once my heart is broken.
Never have i cried.
Sometimes life is being fair.
Sometimes time is slow.
Sometimes i'm depressed.
Sometimes i'm angry.
Sometimes i wanna punch someone so hard in the face their nose caves in.
Sometimes it's peaceful.
Sometimes people stare at me.
Sometimes i sing to myself.
Sometimes death is peaceful. I see myself dying in a lightning storm.
Sometimes i worry too little.
Sometimes i have a problem. I don't like problems.
Sometimes i'm a hero.
Sometimes i'm a killer.
Sometimes i'm a saint.
Sometimes i'm a hater.
Sometimes i'm imbalanced in the mind.
Sometimes i'm sarcastic.
Sometimes i'm feeling so low i feel like dying.
Sometimes i'm a homo.
Sometimes i'm anti-social.
Sometimes i get sick and recover too quickly.
Sometimes i'm stressed.
Sometimes i'm hard working.
Sometimes i imagine.
Sometimes i find it unnecessary to wake up.
Sometimes i wish for stuff.
Twice i've fallen.
Once my heart is broken.
Never have i cried.
hey, come on
DATE: | TIME: 7/16/2009 12:20:00 AM
You can't win everything you know.
First of all, be prepared. You don't want to start a conversation with only a 'hi' in mind. Elaborate and stuff.
Secondly, open your mouth. If you're with people, it's a need.
Thirdly, don't laugh at the joke that you just made. It may not be funny.
Fourthly, don't interrupt when someone is speaking.
Lastly, don't talk crap!!!
Just a few things that i wanna get into my head; COMPRO written test, ELTECH formulas, ENGMEC formulas, EG1 formulas. God, it sucks when you need to keep referring to things. Just for one thing, you go through 2-4 other irrelevant others to get there. Haiz... really bothersome.
And yea, i stopped tying my hair. I see what damage has been done to my hair. My precious.... It's kinda twirling upwards on the side which is really sucky. Makes it look like a woman's haircut. Then again, i'm starting to think twice about keeping my hair. I really feel the need to cut it. Haiz.... We shall see.
First of all, be prepared. You don't want to start a conversation with only a 'hi' in mind. Elaborate and stuff.
Secondly, open your mouth. If you're with people, it's a need.
Thirdly, don't laugh at the joke that you just made. It may not be funny.
Fourthly, don't interrupt when someone is speaking.
Lastly, don't talk crap!!!
Just a few things that i wanna get into my head; COMPRO written test, ELTECH formulas, ENGMEC formulas, EG1 formulas. God, it sucks when you need to keep referring to things. Just for one thing, you go through 2-4 other irrelevant others to get there. Haiz... really bothersome.
And yea, i stopped tying my hair. I see what damage has been done to my hair. My precious.... It's kinda twirling upwards on the side which is really sucky. Makes it look like a woman's haircut. Then again, i'm starting to think twice about keeping my hair. I really feel the need to cut it. Haiz.... We shall see.
bitter
DATE: Tuesday, July 14, 2009 | TIME: 7/14/2009 05:23:00 PM
After school feast leaves bad feel in stomach.
Lips sticky from egg white. Throat warm from milo. Nose is blocked with something. Been going on for at least 2 days now.
Lips sticky from egg white. Throat warm from milo. Nose is blocked with something. Been going on for at least 2 days now.
Painkillers
DATE: Sunday, July 12, 2009 | TIME: 7/12/2009 07:20:00 PM
Panadols never tasted so sweet.
I guess i should give them my thanks for getting rid of the headaches and pains. I'm feeling very much better now. I guess i should ask myself. Why aren't i dead? I mean, it is swine flu. Or was it? Well this wasn't the first time.
Back in the SARS period, i caught a very bad fever. Much like this one but worse. Then another time during Hari raya. Stayed in bed for 3 days i think. Really couldn't walk. Another time was during secondary school or some time i can't really pinpoint. I felt so sick that i slept in the toilet. And yea coz i had to use the toilet.
I guess i should be thankful you know. Each time i recover, i think about what would've happened if i weren't so lucky. What happens then? Well, i was hoping something epic would come out of this experience but no, not really epic. I have one last question. Should i quarantine myself? My fever hass gone down but i still have that runnning nose of my mine and a slight sore throat. But no coughs or nausea. Eh, i'll just come anyway. Be the irresponsible bastard.
Hmm, because of this 'metamorphosis', i spent my weekend at home. Pretty much sweating my ass off in a jacket and a blanket. Can't really describe the amount of sweat so i won't. Hmph.
Let's look forward to school shall we and a speedy recovery.
I guess i should give them my thanks for getting rid of the headaches and pains. I'm feeling very much better now. I guess i should ask myself. Why aren't i dead? I mean, it is swine flu. Or was it? Well this wasn't the first time.
Back in the SARS period, i caught a very bad fever. Much like this one but worse. Then another time during Hari raya. Stayed in bed for 3 days i think. Really couldn't walk. Another time was during secondary school or some time i can't really pinpoint. I felt so sick that i slept in the toilet. And yea coz i had to use the toilet.
I guess i should be thankful you know. Each time i recover, i think about what would've happened if i weren't so lucky. What happens then? Well, i was hoping something epic would come out of this experience but no, not really epic. I have one last question. Should i quarantine myself? My fever hass gone down but i still have that runnning nose of my mine and a slight sore throat. But no coughs or nausea. Eh, i'll just come anyway. Be the irresponsible bastard.
Hmm, because of this 'metamorphosis', i spent my weekend at home. Pretty much sweating my ass off in a jacket and a blanket. Can't really describe the amount of sweat so i won't. Hmph.
Let's look forward to school shall we and a speedy recovery.
Happiness is always better than despair
DATE: Thursday, July 09, 2009 | TIME: 7/09/2009 11:33:00 PM
When you're feeling down, look up.
I didn't realise that it would occur to me that i'd remember what happened. But that's all in the past. Hmm, s&w was alright for today. Winning streak so that means i'm improving and that's good. After that went out with great friends and spent some quality time. I'm still hungry after burger king.
Ok, important part. I need to limit my spending on food. I'm indulging myself in junk and other non-necessities. It's really wasting my money. It's not like i have a million to spend you know so yeah, i gotta save.
I didn't realise that it would occur to me that i'd remember what happened. But that's all in the past. Hmm, s&w was alright for today. Winning streak so that means i'm improving and that's good. After that went out with great friends and spent some quality time. I'm still hungry after burger king.
Ok, important part. I need to limit my spending on food. I'm indulging myself in junk and other non-necessities. It's really wasting my money. It's not like i have a million to spend you know so yeah, i gotta save.
Appetizing
DATE: Tuesday, July 07, 2009 | TIME: 7/07/2009 11:37:00 PM
Killer prata from canteen 3.
It doesn't look like much but it's actually enough to fill you up. The comfort zone for me would be 1 and a half of it maybe? But it's oily, maybe too oily. Oh well.
Big presentation tomorrow and group hasn't finished the project yet. So yea, we'll see how that turns out. Baracuda practice tomorrow too. But you see, I need to dress smart for ECPRO. Wouldn't it be weird to play instruments in a suit? Haha. And don't forget the possible tie.
Breaks
DATE: Sunday, July 05, 2009 | TIME: 7/05/2009 10:37:00 PM
I wished my heart would break.
And i got it. Ah, satisfying. Now i'm free from whoever is trapping me in their constant control or routines. I'm tired of that. Tired of pampering and obsessions. I don't know what the hell i'm saying.
Anyway, i almost forgot that i posted earlier today. But now i'm gonna post again.
I seriously need someone to drag me out of my house when i'm bored. I don't want to rot. It's not pleasurable. Please, take me anywhere.
Loud music hurts my ears when it's not a nice song (:
And i got it. Ah, satisfying. Now i'm free from whoever is trapping me in their constant control or routines. I'm tired of that. Tired of pampering and obsessions. I don't know what the hell i'm saying.
Anyway, i almost forgot that i posted earlier today. But now i'm gonna post again.
I seriously need someone to drag me out of my house when i'm bored. I don't want to rot. It's not pleasurable. Please, take me anywhere.
Loud music hurts my ears when it's not a nice song (:
Definition of failure
DATE: | TIME: 7/05/2009 05:25:00 PM
I wonder what to fail is.
Is it when you can't live up to expectation that you fail?
Is it when you can't achieve something that you fail?
Is it just losing that you fail?
I hate it. I don't like it. Haiz...
Moving on.
Dream journal hasn't been coming along very well. I decided to start a journal to record my dreams but then there's this problem. Who the hell wakes up and remembers their dream exactly? Also because it's troublesome to an extent. Maybe they'll make a dream recorder machine one day but until then, let's try the journal.
4th of July, Independence of a nation. So yea, just something for you to know. Guess which country. Get a choc bar.
In other news, swine flu has infected Singapore. Like, finally! I thought it'd never come. I mean, why shouldn't it? It's inevitable. On an interesting note, most of my friends don't mind catching the disease. Maybe coz it isn't serious? Well, not yet it isn't.
Well, have a nice day. Don't knock yourself up.
Is it when you can't live up to expectation that you fail?
Is it when you can't achieve something that you fail?
Is it just losing that you fail?
I hate it. I don't like it. Haiz...
Moving on.
Dream journal hasn't been coming along very well. I decided to start a journal to record my dreams but then there's this problem. Who the hell wakes up and remembers their dream exactly? Also because it's troublesome to an extent. Maybe they'll make a dream recorder machine one day but until then, let's try the journal.
4th of July, Independence of a nation. So yea, just something for you to know. Guess which country. Get a choc bar.
In other news, swine flu has infected Singapore. Like, finally! I thought it'd never come. I mean, why shouldn't it? It's inevitable. On an interesting note, most of my friends don't mind catching the disease. Maybe coz it isn't serious? Well, not yet it isn't.
Well, have a nice day. Don't knock yourself up.
I think, i think
DATE: Thursday, July 02, 2009 | TIME: 7/02/2009 08:25:00 PM
I think my ankle is dislocated.
I'm not so sure but it's moving in a weird way and it's able to take some weird positions. I gotta get that checked out. Maybe this is why it's been hurting. Haiz... Since that sprain. I knew that crack was something strange. Know of any good reflexologist or whatever they call it. If not, the polyclinic it is.
Ok, something else that's bothering me. I'm eating when i'm not hungry and i'm not eating when i am hungry. It's really messed up. Solution anyone?
I'm not so sure but it's moving in a weird way and it's able to take some weird positions. I gotta get that checked out. Maybe this is why it's been hurting. Haiz... Since that sprain. I knew that crack was something strange. Know of any good reflexologist or whatever they call it. If not, the polyclinic it is.
Ok, something else that's bothering me. I'm eating when i'm not hungry and i'm not eating when i am hungry. It's really messed up. Solution anyone?
CUT!
DATE: | TIME: 7/02/2009 01:32:00 AM
The suspense was killing me.
I am so thankful to Allah and the seniors for allowing my journey with Baracuda Batucada to continue. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you.
On another note, I did pretty ok for common tests. No fails so that's good. Well, let's just elaborate on practice today. When i received the sms for today's practice, i got real worried coz of the words "final" and "cut". It was almost like not wanting to come coz i didn't want to know the result or get cut myself but i went anyway coz i love the cca. The seniors seperated us into 2 groups and then pairing us up, i was with Farhan. So they explained how it was gonna go down and until Cheryl and Ain went down, the seniors reshuffled us into three groups.
I was gonna get teary-eyed when everyone started hugging each other and myself but i didn't. I held it in. Then came the surprise. " You have all made the band". The initial reaction was "HAH?!", literally. No one was celebrating or anything, just stoned. I was really really really stoned coz Faizal, the better musician, had been called out and didn't return. I was confused why he didn't make the band. Then came the other surprise.
Cheryl and Faizal walking into the room again. It was really surprising. I don't know how many times i've used that word. So yea, we are Baracuda Batucada now.
Hmm...What else
I am so thankful to Allah and the seniors for allowing my journey with Baracuda Batucada to continue. Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you.
On another note, I did pretty ok for common tests. No fails so that's good. Well, let's just elaborate on practice today. When i received the sms for today's practice, i got real worried coz of the words "final" and "cut". It was almost like not wanting to come coz i didn't want to know the result or get cut myself but i went anyway coz i love the cca. The seniors seperated us into 2 groups and then pairing us up, i was with Farhan. So they explained how it was gonna go down and until Cheryl and Ain went down, the seniors reshuffled us into three groups.
I was gonna get teary-eyed when everyone started hugging each other and myself but i didn't. I held it in. Then came the surprise. " You have all made the band". The initial reaction was "HAH?!", literally. No one was celebrating or anything, just stoned. I was really really really stoned coz Faizal, the better musician, had been called out and didn't return. I was confused why he didn't make the band. Then came the other surprise.
Cheryl and Faizal walking into the room again. It was really surprising. I don't know how many times i've used that word. So yea, we are Baracuda Batucada now.
Hmm...What else